14! I mean really, 14 at the start and one trailing to the rear who caught up and made it 15! The last time I played with 15, well that was on grass and we were all the same sex...
Lance, Voigts, Schleck, Voeckler, Clancy, Pooley, Pic, Cooke, Hushovd, Menchov, Budgie boy, Davies (Emma), Cippolini, Mark and Retro boy.
Let's start with retro boy who caused a few injuries before the off. Conscious of his transgression towards the fashion faux pas he skulked into the car park Japanese fighter pilot style coming out the sun only to cause a sudden reaction, fighter pilot whiplash as riders did the double take to confirm that their eyes weren't deceiving them. He was indeed wearing the most ridiculous sun glasses they had ever seen! Period! Not quite as cool as these ones, but close!
Lance led us out from the car park and the rest of the bunch followed, save for Pooley who was caught with her knickers down. She missed the off and was chasing from the start as the bunch rolled towards the swing bridge. Voigts got a break in the traffic and Lance severely reprimanded him for being a bald twat and going off like some 18 year old teenager full of testosterone chasing a bit of skirt! Strangely Voigts seemed to take it as a compliment! His public apology is duly noted for this transgression to bunch etiquette.
So once they caught Voigts who was lighting up the west coast with those majestic quads of his the bunch rolled out towards Inchinnan and onto Bishopton. As the pace increased the hand signals and shouts decreased the riding became a little dangerous. Good communication makes us safe, let's work at it.
Down to the Ferry and the usual suspects were beginning to exhibit similar signs to Voigts as their enthusiasm began to grow in anticipation of the competition. A restrained arrival at the Ferry saw young Schleck hitting the front and dragging us up the climb onto the dual carriageway. Cooke was quickly into his wheel and then deciding it wasn't fast enough pulled out to up the pace again. The bunch was down to 14 by now and riders were beginning to get shelled. Through the Langbank roundabout and the bunch was still in double figures. The small climb towards Finlaystone saw a few riders dip into the red and the lines began to break up. Schleck pushed the button again and two lines became one as the WHEELSUCKERS appeared again.
Thor broke the pattern and allowed riders to pull through again until Voigts lifted the pace towards Woodhall. Finally a single figures bunch. It should never be double figures by Woodhall! Clancy, Lance, Schleck, Menchov, Voeckler, Retro boy, Hushovd and Voigts in the mix, with Voigts and Thor having a chat at the rear to discuss the forthcoming climb and inadvertently dropping off the back when Menchov attacked for the tape.
Cooke pulled through up the climb and starting catching the bunch. Menchov was spotted off the bike on the climb checking the tarmac. He hasn't seen it up close for a while so he just got off to say hello and while he was at it he thought he might as well tighten his rear skewer rather than rely on his own weight to hold it in! At the top of the Clune the goats had had their brew up as they waited for the Rouleurs and the ladies. Davies (looking happy) led us out towards Kilmacolm. Young Schleck was caught with his worry beads out and missed the start as he tried to put them away. The bunch drove out and up towards the Knapps and the elastic was already broken.
Schleck at the back and Pic, Davies, Voigt's with the peleton ahead. Hanging off the back Voigts was able to watch the bunch working together and moving as one, albeit quite slowly. Menchov looked a little uncertain of his new setup and sat off the back slightly. Cippo and Cooke dropped off on the Georgetown to join Voigts and Davies at the rear and the bunch pulled through towards the finish together.
As for what happened up front, then perhaps we will get a guest posting later on today. At the rear it was all smiles as it didn't rain!
