Who stole the jersey????

With the big names like Cancellara, Menchov, Hincappie and Voigts out it was time for some of the lesser know roulers to step up to the plate. Lance and Cooke returned from their Tour Down Under with young Schleck to see if they could still mix it in the final show down. Cippo came out of retirement and Ullrich made it for one of his final rides of the year before impending fatherhood (x2). Kona Karen sat it out not wishing to risk anything before here impending departure to Kona cleary having heard of Vino's riding skills!

There was controversy before the start with young Schleck riling some of the more established members of the peloton by bringing the equivalent of a machine gun to duel in the guise of his stealth P2. In full contravention to the UCI and G3R rules protests have been lodged and appropriate bribes accepted. The Commisioniare's decision will follow.

The return of Lance should have brought some stability to peloton however quite the reverse seems to have been the case. The presence of the great one seems to make the bunch nervous and thus reduces them to quivering wrecks who do not wish to incur his wrath for a wrong move or ill considered word. In preparation of this they had collectively decided to go easy on him, surmising that a happier Lance who "thinks" he is going well is clearly easier to deal with. The plan clearly worked in that there were various reports stating that he was over heard saying "I am just playing tonight", and so it is with a shake of the head that we bring him back down to earth with a bump and say so were they Lance, so were there, it was all an illusion and here's the story of how.

The grand depart seems to have gone smoothly although young Schleck has obviously yet to master the skill of telling the time as he came close to missing the start once again or perhaps he has not taken enough wins to enable him to purchase a time piece yet. His time will come as his coach thinks he has the potential of even beating Lance on the road next year.

It is alleged that the pace seemed to have been driven up a notch. Perhaps it was the return of our friends from far away shores or just increased form at the end of season but riders reported increased levels of effort in comparison to the previous weeks. One might even consider that the sum of the parts might have been greater had they chosen to work together rather than try and blow it apart early on, but that is life when testosterone is in high abundance, and puberty is beckoning for the young like Schleck.

At the other end of the spectrum, Pozatto's breast feeding seems to be inducing a rather curious response and inducing a rather alarming amount of phlegm according to the group. Perhaps it was the combination of that and riding on the rivet, but Lance seems to have fallen for your Oscar winning role last night and actually thought that the mask of pain was real!

Thor seemed to be on form and was "sticking it to the big boys" tonight, perhaps his youth policy is paying dividends after all. Cooke was looking strong after her time down under and played with the big boys all the way to the end.

By all accounts the Ferry was tough with each rider trying to out do the other. Vino's handling skills were rusty and it is rumoured he nearly brought the peloton down, Thor always keen get in front of the lens was seen to be performing a Maskill endo on the Ferry to avoid a wheel and Cippo paid a visit to the outside Lane to avoid the bunch. After much verbal banter as to the cause the adrenalin surged and it all kicked off. Attacks went off and phlegm was flying as the boy with the patent shoes tried to hang in, the youngster Schleck got dropped and in the end Thor took the tape.

The climb brought some rest bite before the run through Kilmacolm, where Schleck and Ullrich decided to attack. Lance kept talking about the smooth approach whilst the peloton were more concerned about playing the parts in the "Grand Deception" and continued to portray pain to all those around them. Thor came through strong and took full advantage of the gravity, Cippo by this point was running on reserve tanks and was fast approaching the point of only vapour fuel. It was therefore for the first time this year that a loud beep-beep-beep was heard. A sound normally associated with reversing vehicles, and thus as emergency measures were taken, his parachute deployed and the group waved through as he blew and went off to pursue a calorie quest that Ullrich would have been jealous of. Schleck was down on his illegal tri bars and off like a pubescent teenager in search of his first girlfriend! A strong group pursued headed by Lance and Thor, with Pozatto trying to elegantly hold the wheel. Cooke, Vino and Ullrich all endeavouring to work together to hold the wheels. Lance displaying some questionable tactics allowed a gap to develop in order to jump and drop Pozatto. Thus the deception was completed with a perfect ending. Lance had been duped and had accepted the whole plot of the night and Pozatto coasted in knowing that he had played the lead role. The final show down was left to Thor and Lance to contest where Thor took the tape, having clearly forgotten to read the script! In reality young Schleck took the tape being so far ahead but given he was disqualified he doesn't need to be considered.

At the post race briefing Thor was heard to say that "he could have dropped Lance at any time if he wanted to but he didn't think it was fair" and accordingly let him hold his wheel. Oh, that, and the fact he also had a mechanical and was short of a couple of sprockets.....

So to you all, many thanks for a good summer of bunch riding and enjoy the winter.