The problem with Cyclocross is the mud........

I know it's like stating the bleeding obvious, but when you are my size it becomes more of a problem.  Not solely because of the increased surface area of said body and thus the propensity for it to get extremely muddy but more so the degree to which we (me + bike = we) sink in the mud.  Now it could be argued somewhat successfully I suspect that if I was moving faster then perhaps I wouldn't sink as much, but as ever with my brain I thought I may have a solution.  If I had a larger surface area in contact with the ground this would spread the surface area and thus prevent said sinking.  Thus I embarked on increasing the surface area on the rear wheel.  Naturally this could be done easily with a wider tyre, but then mud clearance is an issue at cross so I had to take an alternative path to success.  Behold I have created a monster, colloquially known as a 69er, I have a 26 mtb wheel on the rear and a 29er on the front.  Why stop there I thought, braking is always a problem, solution add disc brakes, then why gears, twice my chain came off at Dundee, go single speed and then there is carrying it over logs, pop some nice carbon bits on to keep the weight down.  Oh and finally image, put some pink on....  Well bet you can't wait to see what it looks like can you?  I might take a photo tomorrow and post it on the site alternatively I might ride it on Sunday, so no doubt you can see it then.  Until then you can only imagine how ugly it can be, can't you.....