Numbers really do matter!

So there I was standing in a queue.  I handed over my form, she smiled and took it from me and then it began.  A small snigger at first and then I heard it, "is he a 500 or 800?", the discussion then continued.  So I am thinking is that like blokes do with woman, out of 10? I'm thinking surely I am better than 500, jeez but perhaps bald doesn't do it for her.  It can't be that can it?  No, it must be something else, but what, it can't be my saddle to bottom bracket length, I mean she is a girl, probably doesn't even know her own let alone mine, (865mm in case your thinking of setting up a bike for me by the way).  It's not my bmi, but could be close the way I am eating and then I thought what else could it be? A couple of minutes later I got my pack and I was off.  Then it all became apparent, the 300 points made ALL the difference, 500 for genital herpes, 800 for shingles.  Phew, I was hitting the big numbers and was lying low for a week with shingles.